The Dreaded Debate

I like contemplating the meaning of life and death and everything in between. I find it interesting to speak to my friends about their thoughts and beliefs. The problem is of course that the open-mindedness off both parties involved in such a conversation dictates the outcome of the conversation. And to be honest, the intelligence and curiosity of the other person also greatly dictates the joy found in it. Discussing spirituality with someone who is close minded and ignorant is a recipe for disaster.

The thing is that conversations such as these often end badly. Often one side or both sides will be offended by whatever comes up and it is for reasons such as these that my mom always told me to NEVER EVER discuss religion on a first date. And thus far that advice alone has saved me from countless disasters (I’m a highly opinionated person).

Anyway, because this topic often brings out the worst in people, I find myself getting slightly uncomfortable when somebody else brings it up. I was therefore very surprised last night when I found myself in such a conversation with a friend who I haven’t seen in ages, and I was once again enjoying it. He has interesting beliefs and is obviously highly curious about the various opinions and beliefs available.

Most, if not all of his beliefs differ greatly from those of my own, and yet at no point was I offended or uncomfortable, at no point was anyone screaming or making a scene and not once did I feel that I had to restrain my opinion or talk over his. It was delightful but ever so unusual. But should it be unusual? Should it really be so unbelievably strange to me that I could have a quiet, enjoyable conversation with my friend? Does this subject really turn even good friends into a quibbling disaster?

And I suppose the answer lies in the importance that we place in our beliefs. You see, I am quite willing to change my opinion if you can tell or show me something that would convince me and I am sure that Jeff (my friend) is as well. That said I know a lot of my friends place so much faith and are so wholly absorbed in their beliefs (which I think is amazing, by the way) that contradictions to their beliefs would shatter their entire being. And that is where it begins to get personal and ugly.

But tell me this; is the meaning of life really that important if you have lost all your friends due to a little debate? Consider the outcome of any debate at various points throughout and you may find yourself more accepting of other’s opinions.