Thursday, 6 March 2014

Over Sharing Keeps Us Sane

I am not sure if this is just a girl thing, or if it is just how my girls and I are, or what it is but when it comes to boys we want to share everything. I want to know when dates are, how they go, how they ended and I want to know what they did on the date. Maybe I’m a bit over curious but I like to think that I can tell a lot about the guy from how the dates go and seeing as my two favourite girls live a billion miles away I have to make do with whatever image I can conjure up of them in my mind.

The problem is that I don’t always like the image that forms in my mind. In fact sometimes the guys that my friends date just seem awful. The type of guys who are unappreciative or using them, shallow or really insecure. And some of the boys they are interested in are just plain STUPID.

You see, I have a friend who is super easy to talk to, she’s fun to be around and she is just awesome (in my opinion anyway) the problem with this is that she always seems to end up friend zoned and it doesn't make sense to me. Does she have a sign on her forehead that says ‘un-dateable but great friend’? Is she really bad at flirting? Do guys just not realize that she is interested in them?

Anyway, last night I got a text saying; “What must I wear; sexyish nice or casual nice?”

Now in my opinion if you’re trying to get out of the friend zone you sure as hell better look drop dead gorgeous. In fact if his jaw doesn't hit the ground when he says you well then you’re probably staying right there in the dreaded friend zone. The problem is that you can only look super sexy if you’re actually going out on a date. You can’t dress up for a quick coffee or a braai, there has to be a reason to dress up. So I wasn't sure what advice to give her because she had told me before that this guy that she likes has friend zoned her so I assumed that meant that they weren't now going on a date.

Well apparently I was wrong. You see even though her prospects with him look pretty bleak they still end up going on what sounds to me like a date. Take last night for example; dinner and a movie followed by a casual stroll but no good night kiss??? That is just plain confusing. Like I-want-to-hit-this-guy-in-the-head-with-a-brick kind of confusing. Because what is he doing? What is his master plan?

Does he really intend to carry on leading my friend on or is he actually interested but too nervous to do anything about it? And here I have to be careful because once again I must stipulate that I do not know this guy. I have never met him but in my mind he seems like a real jackass. For several months they have gone on dates but with no physical context at all. And it seems to me that he is just leading her on.

And this is the problem with relationships. This is where guys and girls just don’t work. There are so many rules about dating, things that you can and can’t do, things that make you seem desperate or pathetic when actually you’re just curious. You see if this was an ideal world she could just tell him how she felt, ask him if he felt the same and if he said no she could happily move on with her life. Instead she has to play it safe and see what happens because he would probably be completely freaked out by pure honesty while her mind goes into overdrive in an attempt to figure out what every sentence and look could possibly have meant.


In my opinion this is why girls over share about guys. It’s not because we have to prove to our girlfriends that there are guys in our lives. It isn't to make us feel good about ourselves. It’s to get a different perspective on the guys in our lives because invariably by this point we’re too smitten to be able to tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy. 

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