I am not sure if this is just a girl thing, or if it is just
how my girls and I are, or what it is but when it comes to boys we want to
share everything. I want to know when dates are, how they go, how they ended
and I want to know what they did on the date. Maybe I’m a bit over curious but
I like to think that I can tell a lot about the guy from how the dates go and
seeing as my two favourite girls live a billion miles away I have to make do
with whatever image I can conjure up of them in my mind.
The problem is that I don’t always like the image that forms
in my mind. In fact sometimes the guys that my friends date just seem awful.
The type of guys who are unappreciative or using them, shallow or really
insecure. And some of the boys they are interested in are just plain STUPID.
You see, I have a friend who is super easy to talk to, she’s
fun to be around and she is just awesome (in my opinion anyway) the problem
with this is that she always seems to end up friend zoned and it doesn't make
sense to me. Does she have a sign on her forehead that says ‘un-dateable but
great friend’? Is she really bad at flirting? Do guys just not realize that she
is interested in them?
Anyway, last night I got a text saying; “What must I wear; sexyish
nice or casual nice?”
Now in my opinion if you’re trying to get out of the friend
zone you sure as hell better look drop dead gorgeous. In fact if his jaw doesn't
hit the ground when he says you well then you’re probably staying right there
in the dreaded friend zone. The problem is that you can only look super sexy if
you’re actually going out on a date. You can’t dress up for a quick coffee or a
braai, there has to be a reason to dress up. So I wasn't sure what advice to
give her because she had told me before that this guy that she likes has friend
zoned her so I assumed that meant that they weren't now going on a date.
Well apparently I was wrong. You see even though her
prospects with him look pretty bleak they still end up going on what sounds to
me like a date. Take last night for example; dinner and a movie followed by a
casual stroll but no good night kiss??? That is just plain confusing. Like
I-want-to-hit-this-guy-in-the-head-with-a-brick kind of confusing. Because what
is he doing? What is his master plan?
Does he really intend to carry on leading my friend on or is
he actually interested but too nervous to do anything about it? And here I have
to be careful because once again I must stipulate that I do not know this guy.
I have never met him but in my mind he seems like a real jackass. For several
months they have gone on dates but with no physical context at all. And it
seems to me that he is just leading her on.
And this is the problem with relationships. This is where
guys and girls just don’t work. There are so many rules about dating, things
that you can and can’t do, things that make you seem desperate or pathetic when
actually you’re just curious. You see if this was an ideal world she could just
tell him how she felt, ask him if he felt the same and if he said no she could
happily move on with her life. Instead she has to play it safe and see what
happens because he would probably be completely freaked out by pure honesty
while her mind goes into overdrive in an attempt to figure out what every sentence
and look could possibly have meant.
In my opinion this is why girls over share about guys. It’s
not because we have to prove to our girlfriends that there are guys in our
lives. It isn't to make us feel good about ourselves. It’s to get a different
perspective on the guys in our lives because invariably by this point we’re too
smitten to be able to tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy.
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