There comes a time in every morning’s hangover where you
have to make a couple of really important decisions. The first is who to blame
for your thunderous headache, after all it couldn’t possibly have been your
fault. Surely no normal human being would willingly feed themselves that much
alcohol knowing full-well what it would result in.
The second is, and this is assuming you make it out of bed
without falling on your face, should you brush your teeth? You see your teeth
are busy doing that really horrible “I’m furry” dance and your mouth tastes as
if you made out with at least one ashtray last night. So in all honesty you’re
dying to get some toothpaste in there but the last thing you need on an already
nauseated stomach is an accidental gag reflex.
The third and final decision you need to make is whether you
are going to stick to your earlier proclamation that you’re never going to
drink again, or are you going to reach out and grab that beer that your mate
(usually the one you've blamed for the hangover) is trying to pass you and
brave the nausea in the hopes of curing your hangover.
Either way, whichever options you pick, none of this will
come to mind the next time someone offers you a drink. Instead your brain will
play you a short video of all the awesome drinking memories you have and you’ll
get completely trashed all over again. And for some odd reason your brain WILL
hate you again tomorrow morning.
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