Happy Ever Never

Anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of a break up will agree with me when I say it is absolutely horrible and it doesn’t actually matter when or where or how it happens; it is horrible. That said, it is not always that much easier to be on the other end of the break up either…

When I was in grade six, I did my first ever break up. Being so young meant that my entire relationship consisted of smiling at one another across the class, sitting together during evening prep if you were really brave and maybe, just maybe, sharing a slow dance, arms outstretched, at a school ‘disco’. Needless to say, I was not in love, nor did I even think that I was, so breaking up with him was really easy and I actually felt relieved afterwards. I had the world of boys at my feet and I was convinced that I would rule forever.

A couple years later I was sitting on the opposite end of a break up for the first time ever. Not only was it the first time that I was being ditched but I was fortunate enough (please note the sarcasm) to receive the news via text message. I was devastated to say the least. But I eventually got over it and once again thought to myself that no guy would ever break me.

Since then I’ve been through a couple (hundred) break ups. I’m not sure which side of the break up is easier to be on because it sucks either way and it just doesn’t get any easier with practice, so I have decided to concoct a plan in which I never have to face another break up.

Option 1:             Kiss frogs until one of them turns into a prince

Option 2:             Give up on the concept entirely

Option 3:             Kill myself

Option 4:             Somehow actually manage to find the guy I plan to spend my life with (As a side note it may be a good idea to insure that he feels the same way).

All four options bare certain advantages and disadvantages. Option one for example pretty much guarantees that I won’t get into any relationships in the mean time because, let’s be honest, no one wants to hook up with a girl who kisses frogs. Then there’s option 3 which, for obvious reasons, would make dating a little tricky. Option 2 then? It seems fairly reasonable. I’ll just give up on the fairy-tale wedding that I’ve been dreaming of my entire life and the family I’ve always wanted. No biggy, right? Hmmmmmmm… I think not.

Then there’s option four. Sounds like a good option right? We’ve been brainwashed by Hollywood to believe that falling in love with the perfect guy is easy and happens all the time. The only problem with it is that it’s damn near impossible to find the right guy and then as if that was difficult enough someone decided that not only did you need the perfect guy but you needed the perfect timing as well. That’s just mean.

This is the very thing that makes true love so special though. This is the very reason why everyone is looking for that one special person. Once you’ve got it, everything else will be worth it.

Well that’s what I’m going to tell myself anyway.