Lonely but not Alone

Every eye in the room turns. Men’s heads swivel to the door in the hopes of being able to stare longingly at her as she makes her way down the staircase, knowing that their own dates for the evening are  watching them, wishfully willing the men to look at them in such awe, secretly wishing they could have that effect on any man. She has first pick of all the men in the room. She can go for the wealthiest, or the fittest, or that guy in the front who looks like Jonny Depp.

Her wavy hair falls voluptuously around her rosy cheeks and her eyes dance cheekily, lighting up her face. Her long neck is enhanced by the thin silver chain that gently circles it. With golden skin that glows in every situation and the gentle gracefulness of her stride she moves down the stairs not knowing that every eye is on her.

The party breathes because she breathes. It dances when she dances and it stops when she goes home. She’ll make her way around the room with ease and full of charm. She will socialize with all of them being careful to never offend anyone and easily reading what topic of conversation is appropriate for her new crowd. She will mould herself to them and they will fall in love with her, adore her. She will fit into any scenario.

But she will not know it. She does not realize the ultimate power she holds. As she seamlessly makes her way around the room she will notice to herself that, once again, she has been disappointed, for he is not there. This man is merely a figment of her imagination; the man she wants does not exist. Inside, her emotions crash in utter turmoil yet on the surface she is as poised as ever.

Man after hopeful man makes his way to her, buying her drinks and desperately hoping for a dance but the more she dances the more the reality hits her, until eventually she gives up. A dull ache fills the pit of her stomach and the disappointment threatens to knock her off her feet. She is incurably poisoned by loneliness.

One man takes advantage of this situation unknowingly. He merely asks her for a dance at that opportune moment and this gesture of appreciation seems to be the solution to her problem. It seems to her that he has answered her prayers, whilst trying to convince herself that this is not another quick fix emotion that will fade with the effects of the alcohol and the rising sun of tomorrow.

She will not go home alone tonight, and the man she should be going home with will watch in agony as he loses her to the night. She has the power to make men fall deeply in love with her and yet she will never love them. She will leave a wake of broken hearts and regrets. No, she will not go home alone tonight. She will never go home alone. But there is no heart that is lonelier than the heart of a woman who can never go home alone.