Concrete Angel

I promised myself not to touch this topic, because I know that nothing I could ever say, no words could ever put onto paper the raw pain I experience at the thought of this, but I needed to share this song with all of you.

There are children, little kids, beautiful innocent children whose biggest crime is being born into a broken home who are hit, bruised and broken. Their souls are shattered along with their bones and the only thing that gets them from day to another is their dreams; fantasies that depict worlds far better than their own.

Do me a favour and listen to this song: Concrete Angel

Think Big but Gradual

Every year on my birthday I wake up expecting to feel different. Surely I should feel a little older, a bit more mature and I must have gained a wrinkle. And yet, when I look in the mirror I see the same person staring back at me; the person who has been staring at me for as long as I can remember.

I still laugh at the same jokes, I still make the same stupid mistakes and I still can’t survive a birthday without presents, cake, sweets and a jumping castle.

This morning I realized what the problem was. It is not on these celebratory days that we age, it’s the years in between that age us. We age when no one is watching and we do it without even noticing it.

Yesterday I sorted out my passport, all by myself, like a real grown up. Mommy didn’t even have to hold my hand. And this morning, I not only booked my driver’s license test and driving lessons but I also opened my own bank account; and all this before ten o’clock in the morning.

I have been slowly growing up with each passing day and it is only in hindsight that I realize just how much I have changed. Aging is a slow process and yet old age is cruel and sudden. 

Change therefore, is not immediate, but a lifelong decision. Therefore, if you’re trying to lose weight, don’t stop eating immediately on one Monday morning; slowly start making healthier decisions and cutting down on how much you eat. If you want to buy something, don’t spend a whole months pay and then wake up the next morning regretting it; rather save a smaller amount every month until your savings can afford it, if you still want it at this point then it’s worthwhile.

Gradually make changes in your life that will ultimately make you the type of person you want to be. No one will wake up one morning as a normal functional person in society and the next as a skinny, friendly, wealthy woman with perfect nails and a job that allows her to have a facial, mani and pedi once a week. Set goals, and achieve them; but don’t over burden yourself with ridiculous ideas as you will only be disappointed and disheartened.

The Cure

On Saturday I went on a real live date! With a guy and everything! Like a real adult. Can you believe it? Oh the horror!

Well, I’ve decided I actually enjoy dates. At least, I enjoyed this one.

It wasn’t one of those ‘let’s go for drinks so I can get in your pants’ dates. Neither was it a ‘we need to talk’ date nor was it one of those awkward ‘my friend set this up’ dates.

No, it was a real honest-to-god date. One of those where the guy picks you up at seven, takes you to an amazing restaurant with really good food and lets you order your own meal and ends of the evening with some sort of activity that you’re supposed to enjoy and then takes you home and leaves from your doorstep not from your bedroom after an awkward morning-after chat.

Anyway, that’s not the point; the point is that after dinner we went ice-skating (which I really enjoyed) and to my utmost surprise the arena was filled by well-dressed teenagers from about 9 o’clock till about 12 o’clock. Now maybe this is because I grew up in the middle of nowhere but I know for a fact that when I was in high-school we never did anything as safe on our Saturday nights.

We had nothing to do but drink, do drugs and have sex (in no particular order). We didn’t have the option to go ice-skating and if you weren’t into the whole ‘rebellion’ thing then you found yourself alone, in hostel on your Saturday evening or watching your friends getting high in some dodgy corner.

I think it is amazing that teenagers are going ice-skating instead of drugs and sex and at the risk of sounding like an old woman; I think it is FAR better that way!

So, the solution to underage drinking, and really high pregnancy rates amongst teenagers is to build ice-skating arenas all over South Africa. But I bet it isn’t the only thing that will attract bored teenagers. What about ten-pin bowling? I rate teenagers would go for that just as much. Cure the boredom and I am sure that the stats will improve.

But the fact that I even have to mention half of the things that I have mentioned in this article is proof of just how far our generation has slipped into the deep abyss of mayhem that awaits us with open arms.

Cheers to our Heritage

The sun finally pokes its head out from behind the clouds after a weekend of misty grey and constant drizzle just in time for the sound of a beer being cracked open and the lighting of a match. Yes, Braai day has finally arrived and Stellenbosch could not be happier. Braai day not only represents the beginning of a season filled with the smell of 'braaivleis', or the soothing cold of a beer slowly making its way down your gullet or the hot bodies lounging next to a pool in the lazy afternoon sun, it represents a vibe, a culture, a way of life. A South African way of life.

Anyone who has ever spent their afternoon next to a pool, baking in the sun with the chatter of men talking about the rugby and a gin and tonic in hand will tell you that it is the single best way to spend an afternoon with friends and family and there is no better way to catch up with those that you don't see every day.

Yes, it is around a braai that memories are formed, plans are made, relationships are struck up, and strangers meet. It is around the fire with marshmallows in hand that life really happens.

And so we celebrate this style of living, this culture of life on a day that to some South Africans is only known as Heritage Day. Many have commented on the commercialisation of Heritage Day being advertised as Braai Day and many feel that it is vulgar and inappropriate, but is the idea of a braai not something that we have inherited? Can the two not coincide?

Well, I think that not only can the two coincide, but they should coincide.

Many of our public holidays go by with the meaning behind them unknown and yet on Heritage Day people from every single culture get together and celebrate. Maybe they are celebrating by having a braai but if it is around the fire that our communities can come together, regardless of race, culture, language or sex, then surely this is the greatest form of celebration?

So, as I stand next to the braai I will lift my beer and proudly say "Cheers to our heritage, Cheers to our diversity and Cheers to South Africa!"

South African National Anthem

A couple evenings ago I was privileged enough to attend a rather exciting event in Stellenbosch; the Oscar and Rose Mpethe Memorial Lecture, with the guest speaker being none other than our deputy president Kgalema Motlanthe.

As interesting as the lectures were it is the opening which I wish to discuss. This lecture was opened by none other than the Stellenbosch University Choir. Many of you know that it recently won world championship titles in two categories and have read that it is an amazing choir. I was slightly sceptical but not enough to go out and find out for myself.

Well, let me tell you that any doubts that I may have had, have been completely extinguished.

They all stood quietly in front of me and were lead by a single note, but from the moment that first note hit my ears till the very last clap from the enthusiastic audience I was completely enraptured. I had goose bumps from beginning to end and it was the first time since the last Rugby World Cup since I have felt that patriotic.

As the choir sounded out the last line of our national anthem my heart soared with such hope and praise that I was nearly overwhelmed by tears.

It was in this very moment that I realized that our national anthem is truly amazing. It instils in me, as it does in so many other South African’s, hope for a better future, knowledge that we are fighting for a country we truly believe in and a fierce pride which in cannot be compromised by any political mess up.

And then, with tears in my eyes, and hurt in my heart I realized that there is a large group of South Africans who oppose our anthem. There are some who believe that the Afrikaans and English parts should be edited from the anthem as they represent an era in South Africa’s history that they are determined to abolish completely.

And as I look at tomorrow’s heritage day, I wonder why South Africans bother to celebrate it when our politicians seem hell bent on doing everything they can to obliterate our very heritage.

I am the first to say that Apartheid was unjust and incorrect, and I truly believe that every single South African should be treated as an equal, no more, no less. However I think it is very important that we remember that not everything that came out of that era in our history is negative.

Die Stem does in fact represent a time in our history when the Afrikaans was in power but that does not mean that the words are not beautiful and that the lyrics do not represent our true South African diversity.

South Africa’s National Anthem is the most diverse anthem and truly represents our Rainbow Nation and it truly saddens me that some people are saddened by it, especially after hearing it sung by the best choir in the world.

Our Anthem represents our country and our battle for freedom with diversity. To lose it would be a travesty.

Lonely but not Alone

Every eye in the room turns. Men’s heads swivel to the door in the hopes of being able to stare longingly at her as she makes her way down the staircase, knowing that their own dates for the evening are  watching them, wishfully willing the men to look at them in such awe, secretly wishing they could have that effect on any man. She has first pick of all the men in the room. She can go for the wealthiest, or the fittest, or that guy in the front who looks like Jonny Depp.

Her wavy hair falls voluptuously around her rosy cheeks and her eyes dance cheekily, lighting up her face. Her long neck is enhanced by the thin silver chain that gently circles it. With golden skin that glows in every situation and the gentle gracefulness of her stride she moves down the stairs not knowing that every eye is on her.

The party breathes because she breathes. It dances when she dances and it stops when she goes home. She’ll make her way around the room with ease and full of charm. She will socialize with all of them being careful to never offend anyone and easily reading what topic of conversation is appropriate for her new crowd. She will mould herself to them and they will fall in love with her, adore her. She will fit into any scenario.

But she will not know it. She does not realize the ultimate power she holds. As she seamlessly makes her way around the room she will notice to herself that, once again, she has been disappointed, for he is not there. This man is merely a figment of her imagination; the man she wants does not exist. Inside, her emotions crash in utter turmoil yet on the surface she is as poised as ever.

Man after hopeful man makes his way to her, buying her drinks and desperately hoping for a dance but the more she dances the more the reality hits her, until eventually she gives up. A dull ache fills the pit of her stomach and the disappointment threatens to knock her off her feet. She is incurably poisoned by loneliness.

One man takes advantage of this situation unknowingly. He merely asks her for a dance at that opportune moment and this gesture of appreciation seems to be the solution to her problem. It seems to her that he has answered her prayers, whilst trying to convince herself that this is not another quick fix emotion that will fade with the effects of the alcohol and the rising sun of tomorrow.

She will not go home alone tonight, and the man she should be going home with will watch in agony as he loses her to the night. She has the power to make men fall deeply in love with her and yet she will never love them. She will leave a wake of broken hearts and regrets. No, she will not go home alone tonight. She will never go home alone. But there is no heart that is lonelier than the heart of a woman who can never go home alone.

It's all a Plot

According to my favourite South African the presidency is part of this major conspiracy to have him killed. Surely for this to happen you have to be quite a big deal, a name, a somebody. But, no, this is an ordinary man, a man with an average education, an accent that has become associated with idiocy and from a less-than-average background.

He was once a ‘somebody.’ He held a title and an office and many people looked up to him for inspiration and leadership, but now, he is merely a man who the media allows to exploit them.

Julius Malema has played his cards well. He has learnt how to play the media and get their attention using them as his stage in order to give hope to those who still wish to follow him and his ideals. He has learnt how to take advantage of even the worst situations turning a killing spree involving the police and some striking miners into a political campaign in order to gain popularity.

Yes, this man, who I regarded as a complete idiot with a big mouth has learnt the tricks of the trade and is now ready to exploit every single one of them.

As you can assume this is creating a lot of friction with people in high places; people who still hold office and have certain ‘persuasive’ techniques. One does not wish to be on the wrong side of the presidency’s favour when one is looking for a career in politics. Certainly, if you cannot make friends with the President then you should not look for trouble with him.

That said however, I find this whole conspiracy theory rather amusing. I’ve often watched films about elaborate plans by corrupt governments in order to get rid of someone who they do not like or agree with. There are plots with ‘imaginative’ ways to silence people like Malema, but when I think of our government I cannot possibly imagine them being able to conjure up even a fraction of the brainpower required to make someone merely disappear.

Naturally this leaves only the option to kill Malema point blank and watch where the pieces fall. But one must ask, if this is the so-called conspiracy which Malema has been referring to then why on earth would he still be alive? Surely if the plan was just to get rid of him regardless of the effects then surely he would be dead by now?

Well, I hope for Malema’s sake that the government is too stupid to come up with some inventive way to kill him or that he learns to keep his mouth shut, because as far as I am concerned, it is only a matter of time before he takes his final step on the final nerve of an influential man.

Meeting The Family

I find myself sitting at the dinner table, surrounded by a wealthy, upper-class Afrikaans family in a town that I have no other connections to. This family consists of two kids, one guy, one girl, two parents that are still happily married and two grandparents who have aged well and aged together.

The parents are both well-trained, but the mother stays at home and both kids are at university. They live in a beautiful house on a golf estate where all the neighbours are friendly and pop in for a cup of tea or a glass of wine whenever the urge arises. It’s a good life and they undoubtedly worked hard to get here.

I have only just met this family. I am a new comer, a stranger in a town far away from home. I am anxious, maybe a little terrified, because I’m hoping to make a good impression. The food smells amazing, and I’ve just been offered my second glass of wine. I dish up, hoping I haven’t taken too much or too little. I listen to the way this family lives, as they all dance their parts and wait on their cues. I do not wish to disturb their gentle balance.

The conversation turns and suddenly I find myself in a very difficult position. I disagree with the general opinion and I sit wondering whether to state my opinion or not; not wanting to make enemies yet simultaneously unable to suppress my urge to state my opinion.

Well, dinner is over and it seems I still have somewhere to sleep tonight, but I find myself wishing I hadn’t said as much, but in the morning I’ll try and gage whether I am still welcome or not.

Meeting a person’s family can be so terrifying. You have to be on your best behaviour at all times and you’re trying to remember what mom told you about saying please and thank you but you feel like an idiot because it seems that those are the only words you have said since you arrived.

I guess I was lucky because after two nights with this family I feel like I have been welcomed in. I do not feel awkward and out of place and I feel that they enjoy my contributions to the discussions, even if they are slightly different to their own opinions.

I certainly hope so anyway. Otherwise I have just made the biggest fool of myself!

Leaders

I have often written about the problems in South Africa and I have often criticized our government, leaders and citizens. There are some very negative things that happen every single day and hearing them highlighted in the news daily, breaks my heart. But I’ve come to a conclusion; South Africa’s greatest problem is its complete inability to handle situations.

Sure, things go wrong, every now and again things go very wrong but most of the time it is the way the situation is handled that becomes the biggest problem.

Last night while watching Sky News I noticed that there was some drama created in the British police force, but instead of them hiding away and allowing the situation to get out of hand, the head of police got in front of a camera and explained the situation clearly and without unfounded accusatory remarks.

This brings me to the problem of the Lonmin mining crisis.

Yes, I know we are all very bored of the topic and that we are tired of reading about it as it just increases our frustration, but it needs to be addressed because it really and truly is a crisis.

Firstly the miners started their strike incorrectly, followed by our police reacting in far too violent a manner, followed by a disastrous attempt by the NPA to arrest the miners for murdering their colleagues and to make matters worse fuelled by miscommunication from Lonmin and the media involved. Then, as if it wasn’t bad enough already, Julius Malema got involved. This initiated a storm of political frenzy and a power struggle rivalled only by the American Presidential Campaign.

The worst part is that the entire mess could have been avoided. If the miners had striked within the limits of the justice system, if Lonmin had responded appropriately, if the NPA had thought about their response to the situation with more sensitivity, if, if if…

The platform now stands and South Africa is in desperate need of a speaker, someone who is genuinely objective and doesn’t stand to gain from the situation, someone who will douse the flames and allow this situation to be brought back under control.

This speaker should be our president. Our president should have all these qualities and should be able to handle such situations with professionalism and sensitivity. He should be the person who stands up and gives the community the hope and the encouragement that we need. He should be able to put calm and peace into even the most severe situations. Most of all he should put everyone involved at ease and not allow for things to get this out of hand.

But, as usual, our president is nowhere to be seen.

The Disaster of Society!

They kerb our freedom, restrict our actions and torment our sleeping minds. Laws that should make life easier; laws that should make relationships easier and should help make the general populous get along better. Rules that govern our actions and ensure that the general public is happy.

These laws do not make a single persons life easier, but are there for the greater good of the population.

Laws created and enforced by society; laws that predict the next trend, gossip and chaos.

These are the laws that force us to date in our age groups and date men who look a certain way, that say we can’t fall in love with our best friends, that tell us we can’t make friends with someone because someone once said something bad about them. These laws force us to stick to the ‘norm’ and stop us from seeing, tasting and experiencing the extraordinary.

The true genius of life is that only those who are willing to break the boundaries will experience a life worth remembering.

If ever I find the courage to push these boundaries to their limits, I feel that it is in that moment which I will find true inspiration, creativity and exposure. In that moment I will see colours unknown to man, taste tastes which I have never dreamt of and experience a life which far exceeds the general expectations of a worldly life.

But, the problem lies in finding the courage. For pushing these boundaries will create enemies, hurt friends, insult society and breed havoc. It is not a decision which can be taken lightly but in life no one comes out alive.

Choose to live your life in a way which you perceive to be correct not in the way society tells you to.

I Guess...

I guess I want you close

Hold me

Truly

But don’t leave me now

I guess I want your touch

Save me

Gently

Don’t pack your bags

I guess I want your love

Surround me

Fully

Don’t close the door

I guess I never believed

Left me

Lonely

Don’t bother, it’s too late

I guess you’ll be there

Bury me

Ghostly

Don’t cry for me

Regret Nothing

It’s strange that everyone’s life ends in the same way. Regardless of how I live my life I will die, just like everyone else.

I can live each moment to the full, or live by a strict moral code, or I can choose to cause pain and grief. Each person can do with his life as he pleases and yet, no matter what route we take, we will all end up at the same place. All in that moment, a moment so pure, in the seconds before death realize that life, as we know it to be, is over and that some will remember whilst others will soon forget.

But it’s at that moment when the only thing that counts, is the way I lived my life.

In that last inch of life, when we look back on life, the only thing that matters is that you do not regret anything or anyone.

Epiphany!

We are bombarded by advice from different people each an every day. Each person has there own idea of how you should react to certain events in life and they are more than willing to express their own opinions.

“Be careful whose advice you buy; but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it, is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.”

The truth is that as easy as it is to learn from other people’s mistakes the true lessons in life are those that we learn for ourselves. Eventually we learn to trust our own intuition and the sooner we learn how to do that the better.

Intuition is a resource that we never fail to underestimate. If we would just listen how often would disaster be averted? How often could we have saved ourselves from torment if we would just listen to that nagging feeling in our stomachs? Listen to the voice in our heads?  

Well, I for one, know for sure that if I would just listen to my own advice I could have avoided many tears, many break ups and many broken hearts.

So my advice is this; if you have to convince yourself that what you are doing is right, or if you have even the slightest doubt in your mind, then DON’T do it!

But, don’t take my advice, because this is an epiphany worth having.

Spring!

There is something so peaceful about a Sunday morning in spring; sitting on the grass in the sun, a light breeze running through my hair and the sweet song of the birds that have come home. The gentle sounds of a new couple as they steal a few hours of solitude from their studies. In the background the church bells chime calling all of those who believe in God to join in worship.

This morning the colours seem brighter, the birds sound louder and the wonder of life seems more real than ever.

Spring with all its heightened senses reminds me once again, that while the world is troubled with death and families are tormented with loss and grief, there is always the promise of new life and from new life springs new hope. Hope for a better future, hope for a lasting love, hope for tomorrow and hope for today and the aspiration to live each day as if it was your last.

There are very few true inspirations in life. Self-supplied inspiration is difficult to find, but as I sit here, listening to the sounds of nature and the rolling giggle of a girl in love I realize that Life should be motivation enough. As the people around me die it is important to notice that while grieving there is a certain celebration of life.

And when I die, I want people to look back on my life and know full-well that I took every opportunity thrown at me. I want to die with wrinkles so that I know that I smiled a lot, I want to die with aching bones so that I know my body danced its way through life and I want to die with faded hearing so that I know I listened to every broken melody in the soundtrack of my life.

To die of old age is a privilege yet should I die today, I will know that I enjoyed the time I had.