Eating Christmas Alive!

Christmas is finally here! And this year we went all out! More all-out than last year even!

For the last two weeks my mom, sister and I have been planning, scheming, preparing and perfecting our Christmas and have succeeded in producing Christmas Tree cupcakes, Christmas bauble shortbread cookies, a Christmas cake, Christmas pudding, mince pies, champagne jellies, brandy butter and as if that wasn’t enough, a massive gingerbread house complete with Christmas Trees, Santa Claus and a Gingerbread Family having a sit down meal! And that is just the sweet stuff.

As I am sure you have guessed by now, Christmas is a BIG deal in our family. It starts with the baking, and then the lights go up, then the Christmas tree gets decorated, all with Christmas carols playing in the background, and that is before we even make it to Christmas eve.

Actually Christmas isn’t just a big deal because of the food, and this year we had an amazing selection of presents under the tree, but that wasn’t it either. For me, Christmas is about the amazing moments shared with the special people that we love.

This year it all started on Christmas Eve. My aunt, uncle and cousin arrived from Plettenberg Bay and by some miracle my slightly confused granny arrived from Pretoria, IN ONE PIECE! And suddenly Christmas had arrived. My aunt in her incredibly cute Santa hat, the Christmas crackers on the table, the smell of the turkey roasting in the oven, and then we opened the champagne! This is what I truly love about Christmas and after pigging out on probably the hugest turkey I have ever seen, the whole family ended up on the beach, with our dog Charlie, at 11 in the evening trying desperately to make space for dessert.

But this is where the problem starts, because suddenly the little seven year old who hides in my head somewhere realizes that in only an hour it is Christmas and that little seven year old wants to be knee deep in Christmas wrapping paper, squealing from the latest sugar high, chocolate smeared all over my face and putting my grubby little paws all over my brand new roller skates! But now that all my siblings have grown up they don’t share this need so I end up being that annoying 22 year old who is way too old to be begging to open presents on Christmas Eve.

This results in me going to bed full but way too excited. I don’t sleep and then at 4:30 in the morning I am wide awake and positively desperate to open presents knowing full well that all the rest of my family wants is to sleep in.

So this year, I decided I would let them sleep a little so after sitting in front of the TV for an hour and a half with my teddy on my lap, I finally mad my mom and step dad some coffee and ventured upstairs to see if there was life. There wasn’t! But after an hour the coffee somehow managed to resuscitate my parents and the three of us made our way downstairs to start cleaning up (no presents until the house is clean).

Slowly but surely different family members started poking their heads out from behind their doors and it seemed to me that we were well on our way to being able to unwrap presents! And it was still before 9 in the morning!!! So I hopped in the shower (no presents until everyone is showered and dressed), made my bed (you get the point) and rushed out to sit under the Christmas tree so that we could start.

After what seemed like an age my granny finally appeared and I was absolutely positive that it was now time for presents! That little seven year old in my head went into over drive and I immediately felt as if I had eaten several slabs of chocolate. I was too excited to function.

And then, the worst possible thing (for a seven year old) happened. Granny announced that she had to go to church first. And church takes forever! And I don’t mean that it takes forever because usually you’re so bored out of your skull that time does that weird reverse slow motion moonwalk thing. I mean that when half of your family goes to church and you are sitting under a Christmas tree trying to figure out which prezzie is yours and what is in it, time doesn’t just slow down; it stops completely!!!

Seven year old Kat literally threw a tantrum and it took literally all my strength to stop 22 year old Kat from doing the same thing.

I am happy to report though, that I have now eaten myself into a coma, I unwrapped some pretty cool prezzies, I cuddled my teddy and made sure she knew it was Christmas, I ate some more and listened to the cheesiest Christmas carols imaginable and both seven year old and 22 year old Kats are happy. To say that I have gone all out is an under-statement and tomorrow I am hitting the Boxing Day sales to buy some pants that fit over my huge belly!

But until then I am going to go carry on feeding my face. Merry Christmas all! Have a wonderful day. 

The Difference is the Same

I, like every other girl, like to believe that I am different,but that in itself seems to make me just like the rest.

The problem is that I want to be the girl that stops a man's heart, making me the only woman the he will ever love, but in order for that to happen I need to be entirely unique. That said, I also want to know that I am not weird, or a freak or even worse, unlovable!

So where is the line? At which point do I cross over from being unique and mysterious, to someone who should be in a straight jacket? And once I've decided on the optimum level of unique-ness, how do I become that?

When I was younger I thought that girls with tattoos and piercings and an 'emo' haircut were unique because in the area I grew up in it was. But if you Google 'emo haircuts' you'll find a billion pictures of girls with no tan, black hair and piercings literally up to their eyeballs who listen to emo music and write depressing poems about death.

So... Not unique then?

And this goes for every other group of people that claims to be unique because that in itself is a stereotype. So what then is the game plan? What is the one thing that will make me uniquely irresistible?

Well, the truth is that you won't find the answer on Google. You'll find it in Terrace at two o'clock in the morning when you are drunkenly singing pianoman, when you're desperately trying to find a closet in Game to hide in when you awkwardly bump into your ex-boyfriend when you're clearly having a bad face day, or when you're in the bib (library) trying with all your might to cram an entire semester's worth of work into your brain when you are clearly meant to fail... Just like everybody else.