My First Ever Thanksgiving

With every passing day in a place as vibrant and colourful as Stellenbosch I meet new people, see new faces and interact with cultures, races and beliefs that are very different from my own. Some of these people I meet once and never see again, some of them I bump into on campus every now and again but others wiggle their way into a very special place in my heart.

Tonight I celebrated my first ever Thanksgiving. It was a completely new experience and I wasn’t sure of what to expect but I knew that I was going to be surrounded by friends, so I wasn’t too worried. One of the traditions of Thanksgiving is to share with your fellow diners something that you are grateful for before the big feast.

I looked back on 2012 and what it has held for me. It has been an extremely busy year and a lot of things have happened, I’ve had amazing experiences and heart-shattering moments. I have laughed and cried and danced my way through a torrent of other emotions. I have a lot to be thankful of. But the thing that stuck out for me the most was the friends that I made and the friends I held close this year.

As with any hobby, SCUBA diving has opened up a world of new people and experiences for my indulgence. Recently I went on a week-long diving trip to Aliwal Shoal, a dive site near Umkomaas which is just south of Durban. I was a little apprehensive as I only knew two of the people going on the trip but have wanted to dive this particular site since I first fell passionately in love with diving.

After about five minutes of being surrounded by these people I was wondering to myself why on Earth I had ever been worried.

 After a week of diving, drinking and lazing around in the sun I had made some of the most amazing friendships anyone could ever have asked for. These are the people who have exposed me to my first ever Thanksgiving and although it is an American holiday I cannot think of a better tradition than one that makes us realise just how lucky we are. So I must give thanks to all the people who have come in and out of my life this year.

And as the end of the year approaches and goodbyes become inevitable I can’t think of a better time to say thank you and goodbye to some very special people in my life. To Brittany and Monique who are leaving the country tomorrow, I must say thank you for exposing me to your cultures and beliefs, I must thank you for the laughter and memories that we have shared and I truly am grateful for your influence on my life, even if it was short.

To my roommate, I know I will still see you in the new year even if we will no longer be roommates but I need to say thank you for a truly amazing year. You have been there every step of the way this year, guiding me and helping me through one of the most difficult years of my life. I must have been hell to live with this year and yet you were always the perfect flatmate. Thank you.

I hate goodbyes and I’ve never been good at them. The thought of not seeing someone who has largely influenced your life is truly terrifying, but there comes a time when you have to part ways. That doesn’t mean that the influence that person had on you should be left behind however. So as people come and go in your life always remember the things they have taught you.

Lastly I must thank all the people who are not leaving. Thank you for making what could have been the most disastrous year of my life, not only bearable but rather, completely fantastic. I love and appreciate every single one of you.

And on that note I will say Happy Thanksgiving, give thanks for being happy.  

Life's Magical Moments

It really upsets me that no matter how many times I watch or read the fifth Harry Potter, Sirius Black always dies. And Cedric Diggory always dies in the fourth one. And no matter what I do, that stupid Umbridge woman always irritates the hell out of me. There must be some way that I can change it. Maybe if I read it one more time? Or watch a different recording? Well, the truth of the matter is I can’t change it, no matter what.

The thing is though, no matter how many times I end up crying my eyes out because Sirius dies, or end up gritting my teeth every time Umbridge opens that horrible mouth of hers, all these things make the Harry Potter series what it is, and that is TRULY AMAZING!!

I know there are stacks of people out there that hate Harry Potter and that think it’s childish and pathetic but there are also tonnes of people who have grown up wishing their lives were a scene from Harry Potter and I am pretty sure that my sister and I aren’t the only ones who nearly jumped off the top of a building when we didn’t receive a letter from Hogwarts at the age of eleven.

Quite frankly I don’t really understand why there aren’t more Harry Potter fans in the world. I can’t quite comprehend what kid wouldn’t become truly obsessed with the idea of magic and dragons, spells, witches and wizards.

As I got older I started to realize that it was all fictional and that magic didn’t exist but that didn’t stop me from enjoying the stories and loving the characters. Then, at the beginning of this year the most amazing thing happened. A friend of mine and I were at a typical feedlot party and were chatting in the kitchen when me, being the cluts that I am, knocked over my wine glass and it broke into tonnes of little pieces.

Ok, yes, nothing exciting about that, but as we were cleaning it up he found the most amazing shard of glass, shaped EXACTLY like the lightning bolt on Harry’s head. As both of us are completely nuts about the books we got super-excited about it and decided to put it somewhere safe for the remainder of the evening. However, we managed to break it in our slightly inebriated states.

Now, I know the whole concept of magic is fictional and all and no I’m not delusional, but I must say that seeing that tiny shard of glass did give me some sort of unreasonable joy. Maybe there is a certain kind of magic in life. Maybe there are moments in life which can be truly magical. Maybe, just maybe.

And if my only reason for watching Harry Potter is so that I can hold my little shard of belief in magic then so be it. Besides, it’s great for the procrastinating mind.

Welcome to Hell: AKA The Dating World

The life of being in a full-time, serious relationship is scary. There are so many things that you have to remember and a slight variation to the most perfectly, beautiful sentence can land you up in the dog box for an eternity. It’s scary and demanding and never-ending. But there is something far scarier, and that is being in the dating world.

It sounds pretty awesome. You get to go out with whoever you want to go out with and you can go wherever you want. You’re constantly meeting new people and experiencing new things. It sounds like the dream, what people forget to mention is the aching nausea that comes with meeting someone new, and the painful bruises as you try to do whatever it is your date has decided is appropriate, and that dull laugh in the back of your mind as you slowly realise that the person sitting opposite you is a complete freak.

Yeah, the dating game is HIGHLY over-rated.

This year I have been lucky enough to be exposed to the worst possible dates your mind could ever dare to conjure up. From being stranded in Hout Bay to having a lap-dance in Mavericks from some girl who was way too excited by the prospect of showing me her girly parts, I have seen it all this year.

It all started about mid-February when my boyfriend and I broke up. I was shoved back into the dating world and was nowhere near ready for it. After months of convincing myself that men are evil I finally agreed to go out with another guy. And to my utter surprise I actually enjoyed myself. I was sitting on the grass of a gorgeous wine farm, lazily drinking away as I watched a stream trickle by with a seemingly nice guy.

Based on the success of the first date I decided it couldn’t be too bad. That was until I found myself sitting in a stunning little restaurant in Hout Bay silently wishing to be anywhere other than where I was as my date caused an absolute scene about his food and the service and all sorts of other minor things. As I sat there in complete shock, I watched my only lift back to Stellenbosch throw a tantrum, get up, walk out and drive away leaving me in a town I do not know with a restaurant full of eyes peering at me and the bill.

This was followed by a series of secret crushes on friends until the end of the semester. And then, out of nowhere this REALLY good-looking guy started chatting to me over various social networks. I had met him a couple times and he seemed like a decent guy but generally guys who are that good-looking are a waste of time so I hadn’t given it much thought, however after a month and a half of texting I was more than a little excited to get back to Stellenbosch.

Boy, oh boy, was I in for a surprise.

For months I was strung along on little glimmers of hope followed by deathly silence only to see that tiny little glimmer again. When I eventually realised he wasn’t actually interested, it was already far too late. I had embarrassed myself to the end of the world and back for months on end, and I was not proud. And so, with my self-esteem at a new all-time low, and my tail tucked between my legs, I went back to the drawing board. There had to be a solution to this never ending series of self-abuse.

Bad date followed bad date and the good dates ended with pathetic sentences I always thought I’d only hear in movies until eventually something snapped and I realised I was fighting a losing battle. In one final attempt to replenish my belief in love I started dating a guy I had known since I first moved to Stellenbosch. I was convinced that it was going well when one evening while sitting on my little veranda, sipping at a glass of wine and listening to him playing guitar reality struck yet again and my little fantasy was broken. As I watched another man leave my life I decided in disgust that enough was enough.

And so with my tail still firmly between my legs I’ll disappear into the cosmos until such a time as I have the energy to deal with the unrelenting heart-break that is the world of dating.

Ignorantly Sharing Ignorance

My sister is probably the most highly-opinionated person I know and as if that wasn’t bad enough already she’s also stubborn as hell. Only this morning, she reminded me just why it is that I would hate to get onto the wrong side of an argument with her. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for my sister. I think she has grown into a beautiful young woman and I couldn’t be more proud to call her my sister.

But DAMN!!! Don’t fight with that chick… EVER!

Heather and I text regularly and my days are not the same without our little conversations. They are always humorous and I often find myself wondering at the complete inappropriateness of her jokes but we have a strict “No Judgement” policy so I generally end up laughing instead of worrying about her mental health.

This morning, in one of our little chats she didn’t fail to provide the usual entertainment when she brought up the topic of something one of her grade 8’s was talking about. In this particular conversation the young woman was speaking about the South African political climate and was desperately trying to prove to everyone present that she was a devout ANC supporter.

Basically her opinion amounted to these concepts:

·         Without the ANC we would still be living in Apartheid

·         Everyone against the ANC believes in Apartheid

·         And that she hopes the DA fails

Now, apart from the obvious deficiency of knowledge in her small little grade 8 mind, this still shocked me. I’m pretty sure that there are a few old oomies on farms in towns no one knows about that still believe in the concept of Apartheid and would love for it to come back but I’m also pretty sure that the majority of South Africans are completely repulsed by the concept altogether. And yet many of us nonbelievers do not support the ANC and nowhere on the DA agenda does it mention anything even slightly apartheid like and I’m pretty sure that goes for most of the other political parties.

Her complete ignorance astounded me, even for her age.

The other thing I noticed was that she was so proud to be an ANC supporter. I find it relatively amusing because the fact that she is going to Uplands College, an upper-class, private school on the outskirts of White River, means that her parents are wealthy. This means that they probably do not rely on the government for housing and food, unless of course her parents work in government or are tenderpreneurs.

Either way, it means that they have either benefitted personally from the ANC or are completely ambivalent to whether the ANC delivers on their promises or not. And I think we can all agree that the ANC is NOT delivering.

Anyway, to get back to my story and this is the amusing part, because upon hearing this loud-mouthing of completely idiotic opinions my sister decided to take action and after deciding that this girl was too stupid to waste a proper political debate on, my sister merely told her to shut up and do some reading. I’m not entirely sure what happened after that but I’m pretty sure that anyone facing my sister in this situation would have shut-the-hell-up and ran to their room to phone mommy. And if she did dare to face my sister then I know from experience that she is currently sitting in her room crying her eyes out wishing she had done some research before making a complete idiot of herself.

It paints a lovely picture, doesn’t it?

I thought it was hilarious and laughed for what seemed like an age, but something about the story was haunting my mind.

Is this complete fear of Apartheid and the major lack in education the only reason why the ANC is still in power? It would make a lot of sense. I have been wondering for years now why it is that people continue to vote for this corrupt government even though they continually disappoint. This seems to be as reasonable an explanation as any and it came directly from one of the ANC’s “greatest supporters.”

It is vital that we change the opinions of the majority before we find ourselves in a place of no return, and I’m pretty sure we need to do it now! This is an urgent matter that needs immediate attention, because if the 21^st of December is not the end of our country then this government surely will be.

Love, My Ass

Seeing as my self-confidence has reached a new all-time low, I may as well put it up for a proper beating. Now, I need you all to be as brutally honest as you can be regardless of how much you pity me after that last rather pathetically sad sentence and answer this question for me: what is wrong with me?

Do I have some hideous mole that makes my nose three inches longer, sprouting hairs and oozing puss off of the edge of my face that I haven’t seen? Or am I largely overweight and the reason I can’t see the scale telling me so is because my belly is in the way? Or am I just such a horrible person that managed to find friends out of pity? Seriously, what is wrong with me?

At the rate at which boys run away from me you would swear I was an overweight bitch with acne to hell and back and growths growing out of my forehead. I must be a real looker.

So apparently I’m not as pretty as mom always told me I was and I’m obviously not even half as charming as I seem to think, so what is the answer? Well, it is tempting to blame this whole thing on myself and say that the reason no boys will date me is because I’m completely ‘undateable’ because that allows me to feel sorry for myself and gives me a perfectly good excuse to get stuck into the chocolate, or better yet, the peanut butter.

The other option would be to blame it on men and rant and rave about how much I hate all men, but seriously, that’s getting a bit boring. We’ve all heard it before, and quite frankly, I’m over it.

So here is the master plan; I am going to forget about the entire concept altogether. Sure the concept of love is appealing and yeah, I’ll miss those Friday night dates that leave you with butterflies in your stomach, but to be honest, it’s just not worth it anymore. So as of now, I am officially off the market and instead I am going to focus on the things that I am good at. Besides overweight, boring-as-hell-Kat is getting used to talking to her teddy bear anyway.

Marriage and a Shower: The Answer to Life

Growing up in a school that caters to the mid and upper class means that I have been exposed to the luxuries that come with being wealthy. I have gone to birthday parties in houses bigger than my junior school hostel (which was home to every female border from grade 1-7). I have watched in awe as friends brought more and more ludicrous toys and gadgets to school and I have stayed in fancy holiday houses on golf estates on the coast.

Yes, I have been spoiled and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.

However, it is now proving to be more problematic than I originally thought as I sit up late at night wondering whether I can sell one of my kidneys (or perhaps both) in order to go on a particular diving trip or buy myself a couple presents. Being poor is not something I enjoy and budgeting my monthly income is virtually impossible.

So if anyone is looking for a kidney, mine’s for sale.

But in the mean time I really need to become wealthy and the sooner, the better. So as I sit here dreaming up ‘get rich quick’ schemes it comes to my attention that our President has the perfect scheme. He gets paid an absolutely ridiculous R3 million a year to sign a couple papers, make sure his mates are paid well and sleeps perfectly well in his comfy bed as the rest of South Africa sleeps on the tiny piece of pavement that was left when they came home from a seriously underpaying job.

And as if that wasn’t easy enough he has now fooled his homeless supporters into believing that instead of spending tax payers money on homes for people who don’t pay tax (not even going to start on that issue) he is going to spend R250 million on a beautiful homestead for his own family.

Sounds like a really tough job to me, but seeing as I am a woman and will therefore never be allowed to be the President of a country where most of the men truly believe that woman are a lesser specie; I’ve come up with an even better plan. I am going to marry him.

Sounds crazy right? Is it though? I’d be living in a beautiful home and feeding off of his rather substantial income and all I’d have to do was sleep with the idiot occasionally, followed by a shower of course (no one wants AIDS). That sounds relatively easy to me.

There’s only one problem though and that is that I am white.

Now, before you jump down my throat about the fact that I am being racist or whatever, let me give you some perspective. In a recent address by the President himself, he said that South Africa’s problems should be solved “the African way, and not the white man’s way” and yet his speaker, a certain Mr Mac Maharaj, will be the first to call you racist if you so much as mention The Presidency in a slightly critical tone.

So I do not mean to be racist when I say that my skin colour is problematic but maybe with some shoe polish I could qualify, but seeing as I can’t seem to find an application form to be his next wife at the Home Affairs office I would like to use this platform to ask President Jacob Zuma a very personal question.

“Will you marry me, sir?”

The End of the World... Again

My complete inability to be organized has always been the source of much pain in my life. It drives my mom insane, causes my step-mother’s blood pressure to shoot through the roof of even the tallest buildings and drives my roommates and friends insane, but most importantly it has caused a lot of pain to my rather sensitive derrière. If I have to receive one more hiding or detention for my completely retarded organizing abilities I may actually die.

But, for once it has paid off, because I was intelligent enough to not book a flight back home.

Yes, I know, it sounds pretty absurd. Why on earth would that be a good thing? Well, all you people who booked flights home with 1time now have a slight problem don’t you. Yeah, guess who’s laughing now.

Well, I was…

Until I realized with an urgent sense of dread forming in the pit of my stomach that if 1time wasn’t flying anymore then all the other airlines would have to compensate for the lack of available flights which inevitably means increased flight fares.

Slightly problematic, to say the least.

So how on earth are we all going to get home at the end of exams? Will the other airlines be increasing the amounts of available flights? I have been away from home since July and desperately need to have a home-cooked meal (the real reason that students are going home this holiday).

I fear that this whole 1time fiasco is a much bigger issue than I originally thought it would be. Actually scratch that, I knew it was a huge issue, I just didn’t realize that it directly affects my life until I got a rather demanding tweet from a friend of mine (but I’ll leave that for another day).

So what actually happened?

Well on Friday afternoon a friend of mine stood in a queue waiting to board a flight from Cape Town to Johannesburg. As she was boarding news broke that 1time airlines had filed for liquidation and that many passengers were left stranded hoping for other flights. She was relieved to find out that her flight would be one of the last to take off and happily took her seat not realizing that the airhostess who showed her to her seat was holding back tears as she found out via the intercom that she’d just lost her job.

Yes, 1time has failed miserably. It has left many passengers stranded in foreign cities and airline personnel are stuck away from home and jobless. Truthfully however, people should have seen it coming. 1time has been in the news a lot lately regarding financial difficulties and most people realized that it was only a matter of time before they went bust. And boy did they go out with a bang!

So what happens now? Well Kulula and Mango have already stepped up to take the brunt of it and have promised more flights at the same costs and as we speak Nandos is probably coming up with some hilarious advert that will be deemed politically incorrect and pulled soon after airing. Actually, everything is just going to continue. Life is just going to carry on and in a few months people will have forgotten about this whole fiasco, just like every other drama that hits South Africa and is pulled completely out of proportion on various social networks because that’s the trend. Those who were directly affected will get over it or find other jobs. Life will go back to normal.

Kudos to the pilots for not going on strike though because that’s what South Africans do when life gets a bit rough.

Lost In A Moment

My eyes in your eyes
Forever lost
Sinking into this storm
Of tormented longing
A breath
Even as the butterflies squirm
And with shaking hands
Upon your cheek
The first real touch
Intimately formed
Sends a jolt of panicked calm
To my quivering lips

A breath
I breathe you into me
Familiarity in a new reality
My eyes close
As I feel you near
And my craving lips are met
By tender flames
The passion
Of our first kiss