I have recently single-handedly (and by that I mean with the help of some friends and the ever-present, abundantly humorous enigma that is karma) found the solution to all the world’s problems. The answer? Blue flashing lights on the packaging of ladies tampons (red would be more apt but Blackberry beat me to it) and little green frogs that live in your shower.
Yes, I know, slightly obvious right? How has no one realised this before? Just in case you’re not following though, let me elaborate.
On Tuesday afternoon I had lunch with three other ladies (believe it or not, this is the frog part of the story). Somehow or another we managed to get onto the topic of this tiny little green frog that used to live in one of the ladies’ shower. Every morning when she’d get in the shower there was this little green frog. It soon became the family pet.
On one particular day this particular woman’s son was in the bathroom stripping the paint off the ceiling of the bathroom in the hopes of repainting it however when he was done he realised that little Froggy was covered in dried paint dust. In a heroic (although utterly pathetic) attempt to save poor Froggy from the dreadful wrath of the paint dust he decided to get the hoover out to dust him off. Needless to say, Foggy was suckered up into the depths of the foul beast known as the vacuum cleaner.
Froggy was eventually rescued, cleaned up and retuned to his usual post, although it amazes me hat he decided to stay after that.
A few weeks later Froggy faced a new near-death experience, this time in the form of a well known martial arts manoeuvre known as the ‘door plus door frame equals squash’. He was once again rescued although this time his rescuer managed to get it right fist time round and after many moments of intense worry he was restored to his original condition (plus some emotional scaring). And Froggy stayed on.
Froggy finally met his fate when trying to escape the new found world of the inside of an upside-down umbrella a couple weeks later and is still missed by the family.
Then on Thursday afternoon I had a Microbiology practical. I was sitting in the lab, with my lab partner, waiting for some weird liquidy stuff to incubate, bored out of my skull. But I had my lab partner to keep me company and due to the cabin fever that accompanies an upcoming Biochemistry test, he was on form. After solving the crises in the middle east, chatting about the bombings in Boston and the death of Margaret Thatcher , we took it upon ourselves to solve the only crises left; the woman’s handbag!
Anyone who has ever owned a Mary Poppin’s handbag knows the desperate need for a tampon that has a flashing light on it. And I’m sure that any guy who has sat patiently dialling his girlfriend’s phone while she basically upended the entire contents of her bag all over his car in the hopes of finding that damn ringing thing can see how beneficial these would be to the entire nation. This could change the way the world is run!
By now I am sure you have caught on and realised how these would be the solutions to all of life’s problems, or maybe you are siting there staring at your screen nodding as if you understand but quietly trying to figure out how many different kinds of drugs I must be on. Well actually the point is that these two conversations happened to be the highlight of my week and I have come to realise that the solution to life’s problems is to make sure that you have as many of these conversations as you possibly can everyday. These are the conversations people will remember you by.
